Thoughts On Returning To Paris

Thoughts On Returning To ParisThoughts On Returning To Paris

[dropcap]H[/dropcap]ere I am, lying in bed watching House on French netflix and eating chocolate. It’s Sunday night and I’m in Paris. I’ve been here for just over 24ish hours and this time tomorrow I’ll be at home in the UK trying to manoeuvre the tube strike. It’s been a pretty fleeting visit, but that’s life.

It’s also been a weird one. The first few hours saw me stressed out beyond belief, nervous about being back in Paris, and tired after the horrible horrible Eurostar. Today saw me walk miles and miles, tracing all my old routes and visiting all my favourite places. I met up with friends that I haven’t seen in 6 months and it was like I had never left.

That’s the weird bit. It was like I’d never left.

At around 2pm I said bye to mum for a few hours and walked the 40 minute walk to where I was meeting my friends. Most of those 40 minutes I spent just looking around and enjoying being back. For about 15 mins, however, I forgot that I didn’t live here anymore. I thought about whether or not the supermarket would be open when I got home because I had nothing for dinner. I thought about whether or not I had school tomorrow. When I suddenly realised that I’m actually staying in the hotel opposite my flat, it all fell back down to earth with a huge bump.

My friends were very sympathetic/found it absolutely hilarious. They’re the best.

I find the whole thing weird, though. It’s like the last six months didn’t exist. The whole term at Durham and the whole summer just didn’t happen. Here I am, back in Paris, having a nice time.

A year ago, if you’d said that this would happen, I’d have laughed at you. I’d have laughed right in your face. I missed home and wasn’t too keen on Paris, and my French was hardly improving.

Now I don’t want to ever go home. Ever. I just don’t want to go home. I want to live here again.

But life isn’t like that, and that’s okay. Maybe I’ll get the opportunity again one day.

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10 Comments

  1. 21st January 2017 / 9:28 am

    I felt exactly the same when I went back to NZ after being in London for a year. It really threw me, I was like, did the year in London actually happen?! It’s actually contributed to me not going back again as I just didn’t like that feeling – too many memories there! One day I’ll head back!

  2. 22nd January 2017 / 12:31 am

    I completely understand the feeling, I think when you come to see somewhere as home that never really goes away even when you no longer live there. It’s going to be really difficult to leave London once I graduate but hopefully I’ll be back!

    http://taradaniella.com/

  3. 22nd January 2017 / 5:32 pm

    Awww that must have been such a horrible moment! I really miss my year abroad in Milan and even though I get to visit a couple of times a year (my partner lives there), it’s just not the same – none of my friends are around anymore and it’s so so sad! Lovely to have it so close though 🙂 xxx
    Lucy @ La Lingua | Life, Travel, Italy

  4. 23rd January 2017 / 1:00 pm

    I can completely understand how you feel – I have exactly the same feeling every time I go back to Falmouth – like I’m home, but I no longer have a home there and that’s weird! I still have lots of friends there and my brother still lives there, so there are plenty of reasons to visit lots! Alice xxx

    http://www.woodenwindowsills.co.uk

  5. 23rd January 2017 / 10:21 pm

    Maybe one day you’ll be back living there 🙂
    I am in love with Paris and would love to live there for a year or so.

    zekalin.com

  6. Aimée Julia Cottle
    25th January 2017 / 4:27 pm

    It must be so weird to go back to somewhere you called home for a whole year, and somewhere you have such strong feelings about now. But only for a visit. It’s nice that you got to go back, though! x http://www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

  7. 29th January 2017 / 2:33 pm

    I had that feeling last weekend! I went back to Portsmouth with my boyfriend, where we went to uni, for a quick visit. We squeezed loads in, went to our fave food place, visited friends, and managed to sneak into the student union for a pint and game of pool :’) it felt like we’d never left, I felt so at home. I could so easily live there again!

    Amber Love Blog

  8. 14th February 2017 / 10:58 am

    Paris is my favorite place on earth! I can really understand how you felt that Sunday. Every time i leave this city my heart aches badly. I want so much to live there, let’s say for at least 2-3 years. Or even more. Happy Valentine’s Day! Helene/ http://www.beautifulismyattire.com