So I’m not a great runner, I can run, and do run, but I wouldn’t call myself a ‘good runner’. I can scrape the odd 10k (I mean literally scrape), can keep to a steady pace, but none of it is regarded as ‘impressive’ by all those real runners.
I am not built like a typical distance runner, in fact several RUDE people have taken it upon themselves to alert me to that fact – ‘with those thighs? surely you sprint?!’… etc.
No matter, I still run.
Running is a great time to clear your head and really focus on things: on my last run I essentially wrote this entire post in my head. Seriously, all I thought about was blogging. But what else does the average runner think of?
- I should run… eughhhhhh fine
- Ah when was the last time I shaved? Oh right, sleeves and leggings it is.
- I could just do some yoga? Or a blogilates vid? No?
- Do I need music? I can’t remember if I like running with music or not? Okay I’ll take music
- *Instantly regrets music*
- This is so easy why don’t I do this more often I’m not even sweating and I’m like… oh. One minute in.
- I’m going to tell everyone I trail run because these roads are so bad…
- Why is my shoulder hurting? (I’m serious, why do I get shoulder pains when I run?)
- I’m so much fitter than I thought! *checks time* oh right, two minutes in.
- I could definitely run a marathon right now, I’m so good at running.
- I’m lying I’m awful this is the worst in the world why am I doing this to myself
- No, stay positive.
- Why is my mouth so full of saliva ew this is gross
- Cool real runners always spit, I’m going to try *dribbles and has to stop to clean myself up*
- Yep, not a cool real runner.
- *lies* When I get to the next tree/lamp/gate/house I can stop to walk for a bit
- Hey this really isn’t as bad as I thought!
- Nope, wrong again.
- Why do my earphones keep falling out this is so annoying! *regrets music more*
- At least I’m lapping everyone on the couch!
- I wish I was on the couch 🙁
- *Car comes past* Ah car! Yeah I’m actually a really good runner! *holds breath, smiles, flicks hair, leaps gracefully like a gazelle*
- *Car goes* COME BACK AND SAVE ME
- Yay! Downhill! …
- … oh and back up.
- I’m going to write a blog post about this!
- *turns corner* Ow why is the sun in my eyes whyyyy
- OMG I’m almost home what?!
- My knee hurts thoughhhhh
- That sunset though…
- Yeah I’m going to stop early – need to walk to cool down…
- I’m so lazy I could have run home – why did I let myself stop? Ah well, might as well just walk now.
- I’m so sporté no one is as fit and healthy as me I’m a cool runner
- Guys guys I just went running how cool am I?
- SERIOUSLY WATER
- Why is my face so red? What is this?
- I AM THE QUEEN OF RUNNING. BOW TO ME!
- Yeah, I need to shower. Gross.
I hope that you could relate to at least a few of those, whatever your running capability. Shout out to Parks and Rec. for summing it up in one line! (see above)
Is there anything else that you think of while torturing yourself on the streets? Let me know!0