[dropcap]I[/dropcap]t’s five to midnight and I’ve just read one of those ‘here are my fave bloggers’ posts and now I feel rubbish about myself. It’s not that I wasn’t mentioned, because quite frankly I don’t give a damn about that, but that a) I feel like I’m a bit too young to be a good blogger, and b) what would anyone even say about me and my blog?
I keep banging on about how I’ve been ill a lot lately, don’t I? Well here I am again telling you that I’m not feeling great.
I also told you a few days ago how much pressure I was putting on myself re: Instagram.
Time to elaborate on those reasons up there:
This one’s a weird one because it’s a pretty new feeling for me in general. All my friends (well, most of them) have now graduated and are cracking on as adults and I’m left writing essays at what might as well be school. When I say ‘young’ I don’t mean age, you see. What I mean by ‘young’ is just that I’m lacking in general life experience and so am horrendously boring. I live at home during the holidays and will be moving back into halls soon and that’s pretty much what I do with my time.
I’m not fun and exciting and I don’t drink wine or whatever. I don’t have a girl gang or a squad, both in blogging and out. I don’t like having my photo taken unless I’m in complete control of that photo. I feel like an absolute baby compared to my working friends and the bloggers I follow.
And this leads me on to the second of my reasons for feeling so rubbish.
AM I SPECIAL?
What would someone say if they wrote about me and n&b?
My posts don’t offer anything new to blogging. I don’t give great advice or help anyone. I don’t write fun articles or share interesting anecdotes.
At the moment all I seem to do is get a bit sad and ill.
I guess we all go through stages like this.
I just don’t believe that I have anything new to offer anyone. I don’t have anything that makes me stand out from any of the other thousands of blogs out there. There isn’t really anything, in my eyes, that makes me want to follow my own blog.
Lol such a Debbie Downer tonight.
I think it’s true though, and do correct me if I’m 100% wrong. My blog and my content doesn’t stand out.
I think n&b is an expression of who I am right now. I don’t want to be seen. Hell, I’ve literally not gone to friends’ parties and events and what not purely because I can’t face being looked at. So maybe my blog doesn’t stand out at the moment because I don’t want to stand out at the moment.
I don’t want the attention that comes with growing your following. I don’t want the attention from people in real life.
But what does that mean for me and n&b? Do I just wait and hope that I suddenly become interesting, or do I accept the way it’s going at the moment?
I literally have no idea.0