I’ve been putting off writing this post for aaaages. Technically I’ve been completely alone since the start of September. I’ve lived in Paris for 239 days, and have been alone in my flat for well over half of them. Well over. It’s weird to think that I only have around 50 days left.
(I got a bit trigger happy with one of those countdown sites and did all sorts of dates and had loads of fun don’t judge me – Oll and I have bee together for 840 days appaz…)
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about the whole living alone thing a lot lately. I lived with my family all the way through school, lived in halls and a student house (of six) for my first and second years of uni, and will live back in halls for my fourth year. This year is such an anomaly.
I’m an introvert. I don’t find loud, busy places fun and don’t like anything that involves debate or standing in front of people or literally anything that involves me looking at people, looking at me. Not my jam at all. I don’t like people touching my things, doing things out of my own set pattern or routine or being messy unless it’s someone or something I know and trust. I’m a nightmare to be honest.
Living alone has let me be completely free in where I put things and what I do and who I’m friends with and, honestly, it has been a dream.
I mean, I’m genuinely terrified of going back to uni in October and having to have meals with people and share things and ugh. At least I’ll have my own room/bathroom – #perks.
To honour all my living alone fun, I thought I’d share 10 or so things that living alone has taught me. Some are good, some are bad, all are my life 24/7, yay.
- I wouldn’t kick myself out of bed for eating crackers. My bed in 90% crumbs and 10% bedding. But like, whyyyyy would I eat food on my sofa when I can eat it under my duvet?
- Weekends are really long. If I have plans then cool, but generally they tend to be long. Long, long and long. Leaving the flat is essential for my sanity.
- I’m a little weirder about people touching things. I rent my flat for a fair bit of money and I am 100% terrified of anyone touching anything or breaking anything. The flat is perfectly white, and humans fresh off the streets of Paris tend to be covered in grey. Coasters everywhere, constantly eagle-eyed for anything untoward. I squeak and flinch whenever anyone touches anything, tries to do anything with the blinds, goes near the wifi box or drops anything on the floor. I mean, they’re not going to be the one’s paying out of the deposit are they? But also I probably need to take a chill pill.
- As introverted as I am, I get really lonely. I think people make jokes far too often about things like FOMO. I live the FOMO lifestyle. It’s not that I’d rather be back in Durham, or home or wherever, and to be honest even if I have plans I tend to cancel about a third of them. Lonely dark evenings are made just that little bit longer by knowing that at home all your pals are together.
- Eating what you want is both a curse and a blessing. My relationship with food this year has just fallen apart. We don’t even share custody anymore. Sad times. I’ve always cooked for myself, even in catered halls I made like 50% of my meals, and have never really had a problem. Last year I even went vegan for a good six months and enjoyed every handmade meal and whatever. I am just so against pre-made meals and food and whatever. This year, however, I’ve got lazy or just lonely or something. With no one around to help me or judge me or generally look in my direction, my food and exercise routines have fallen through. I’m basically a mess.
- No pants are the best kind of pants. Fact.
- Getting ill alone is the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through, three times. At one point I actually cried for my mummy out-loud, while lying on my bathroom floor. I’m an embarrassment.
- Going home after a night/evening out is just a tad scarier because who’s going to know if you make it back?
- Talking to yourself is a-okay. Talk to yourself as loud as you like. Argue with yourself. Tell yourself how damn good you look in the mirror each day. Scream swear words as you drop a full bottle of milk, top off, all over the kitchen floor.
- But only you are allowed to talk at any volume you like. Other people need to respect the need for inside voices and correct TV volumes and music volumes and oh my you want to talk in the kitchen with the window into the courtyard open? I guess you can but also with the oven fan on too? And the kettle? And the TV? Jesus, take the wheel.
- All these blog posts about ‘me time’ are like a normal day for you because you have no one else to waste time on and that’s cool because my nails are always pretty and I’m always up to date on TV but also too much of a good thing, y’know? I’d love to have some ‘someone else time’ every once in a while. (Don’t hold me to that, I think I’m lying. All the ‘me time’ please.)
- I can afford to be more selective of my friends. I get to choose the people I spend any amount of time with. I get to choose the people in my space and my home. I get to choose the people I talk to. I’m so much happier for it. So much happier.
Do you live alone or with other people?
What do you think you’d prefer?