Life doesn’t always deal us the best cards. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in situations we have no control over and it is just the god damn worst.
I’m not naturally a positive person but I wouldn’t say that I was negative either. I am one of those disgustingly real and practical people. I worry too much about actually quite rational things and don’t have enough of that wild fun I’m supposed to be having at my age. I’m a bit of a loser for colour schemed planning and general organisation. I’m also fantastic at beating myself up for my failures. Some would call me a typical virgo. I call myself annoying.
Lately, however, I have started to seek out ways to become the master of myself and the world around me. Finding ways to really eek out the positive in what appears to be a dead-end situation. I’ll be the first to tell you that my last year at uni was a bit of a dud. I’ll also be the first to tell you that despite some really nasty things, I absolutely smashed it. My god, I smashed it. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.
Here is how I, queen of realism, learnt to inject a little sugar into my life-given lemons.
1. Give yourself the freedom and confidence to feel.
We are always told that crying is for wimps and strong people are always punching away their feelings with their well manicured fists. As a strong, well manicured person, I completely disagree. There’s no point aiming for positives when your body is filled with negatives. Let it all out. Get it all out in the open. Lose friends because of it. Gain friends because of it. Tell everyone that actually they’ve upset you and its just not on. Detox your body the only way your body knows how. Cry it all the hell out. Doesn’t that feel better?
One of the most important things that I have come to learn is that you cannot expect people to respect you and care for you if you don’t have the courage to tell them how. You deserve better because you are a fabulous human being. Wear your heart on your sleeve and don’t let anyone try to push it back inside you.
2. Write it all down. All of it.
When our hearts are completely empty it’s the perfect time to pick up a pencil and start again. Pin point the problems in your life and write them down. Write down the joyful moments too. Write down that friend with the over critical tongue and write down how happy freshly cut sunflowers make you. Think of it as a pros and cons list of everything, ever.
Once its all out on the page, try to pair things together. One bad thing with one good thing. Pair your negative situation with a far happier solution. Bad friends are an opportunity for better friends. Bad places are an opportunity for better places. Bad flowers are obviously far better with the inclusion of a sunflower or three. If you can’t remove a situation completely, work like hell to find the good and never let go until you’ve achieved it.
3. Grow, form and develop. Blossom.
Move forward with your pairs. As soon as a negative occurs, find more and more partners for it until it becomes good itself. Make it a gateway to the rest of your life. Share it with the world and continue spreading silver linings. The beauty of finding the good in the bad is its simplicity and its universal application. Apply it to home, school, relationships and work. Apply it to fashion, beauty and, above all, your health and wellbeing. Smile at yourself in mirrors and tell everyone about your achievements. Bake and eat whole cakes and run for miles with the wind behind you.
Run head first into negatives and blow them wide open.
‘Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.’ – Albus Dumbledore