Why I Don’t Check My Unfollows.

Why I Don't Check My Unfollows

Y’know when you’re so close to another little social media milestone, and then some bastard hits unfollow just to spite you? Isn’t that literally the worst ever?

There you are, going about as normal, hitting targets, and then someone decides that actually they don’t like you as much as they thought (or you just didn’t follow them back, ugh) and bam, you’re one step further away from being Zoella.

It can be so easy to get bogged down with numbers when you’re a blogger, whether starting out or hitting the big time. I mean, in this game numbers tend to be what define you. Even if you straight up deny that your follower count matters to you, don’t even pretend that you don’t get a little happy jolt when you realise a few more people have found you. And if not followers, then views, sessions, even your DA, will be constantly in the back of your mind. Even if it really is the very back.

It’s so easy to become obsessed with numbers, not just in blogging terms. I know for a fact that I’m obsessed with numbers surrounding food and I’m cool with that. It’s a thing that I’m aware of and can take time to fix. It sucks though, because I genuinely think that numbers are one of the most addictive things on this planet. Numbers promote hierarchy and status and everything that people are naturally disposed to aim for – everyone wants to do better than themselves at the very least.

One time, about a month ago, I had a little peak at my twitter unfollows. I scrolled through a few days worth and then closed my entire browser immediately.

Man it was bad.

I actually think I cried over people I have never met, and have never spoken to. People who I didn’t even know had followed me in the first place. And it wasn’t that I was sad to see them go. As I say, I didn’t know these people, I’d never spoken to them.

I was sad because it meant that people actively didn’t want me in their lives (or, like, on their twitter feed…) And oh my goodness, the sheer number of people! Like, genuinely! I don’t really watch my twitter following – I tend to focus on instagram and the little old blog – but I know that it does change from day-to-day. I just wasn’t ready to see how many people considered that little follow/unfollow button every single day. It’s bizarre.

That, fortunately, was the last time I even dared think about unfollows and the real human people behind them.

I am never ever going to look at them again.

Unfollows are gone. GONE.

So why do we care who they were? They don’t care – they’re off living their normal boring lives, just like you should be. Why are you obsessing over Britney from Scunthorpe who unfollowed you three weeks ago because you said you didn’t like dogs very much?

As bloggers, our main aim should be to create content that speaks to us and our readers. We should be taking fabulous photos for ourselves, helping out our friends and followers, and creating amazing new things (or, in my case, posts about people I don’t know…)

We should be focusing on making ourselves and our blogs so damn fantastic that we go to bed proud each night. We shouldn’t be spending valuable social media time worrying about why one or two people don’t like us. It’s boring and it’s unnecessary. Focus on yourself. Love yourself.

Trying to move forward while constantly looking behind just isn’t productive. It takes all of the drive, ambition and fun out of blogging.

You are more than a number and your blog is more than a number. Don’t let the haters bring you down.

Do you check your unfollows?
Do you focus on the numbers too much?

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  • I’ve never checked my unfollows and have no interest in doing so. However, I do value numbers. I think every blogger does and its unfeasible for people to think we should be otherwise. Numbers indicate whether we are doing a goof job or not, if your blog is losing followers its usually a sign something is wrong if it’s gaining a lot then you’re obviously doing something right! I definitely think numbers matter but we shouldn’t be obsessed with them.

    Abigail Alice x | Free California Bucket List Download on my Blog!

  • Aimee Julia says:

    I once downloaded an app that notified me every time someone unfollowed me on Twitter. It was brutal. After a few days, I was exhausted tbh. I uninstalled the app, and I’ve never looked back. I do care about numbers, of course I do. But I’m not going to be spend my time looking backwards, wondering why someone has unfollowed me. Plus the fact, it’s so draining! Great post. x http://www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

  • Emily Eddings says:

    I never check my unfollows, I blog for my enjoyment and the fact people want to read it is just a bonus! It’s far too easy to get caught up and become obsessed. Numbers are definitely not the best part about blogging! X

    Emily – http://www.positivelystupendous.co.uk

  • MAY CHO says:

    I’m obsessed with numbers too; specifically, numbers surrounding food and the weight scale. Around this time last year (it goes back 3 or 4 years), it nearly completely destroyed me as I thought that the numbers I saw on myself were ugly and pathetic. Learning to fix that was key when it came to getting better. A lot of my healing came through my closest friends and loved one. I really do hope that you find a way to cope, Imii. As for the numbers surrounding blogging, I won’t deny that I don’t get bogged down sometimes, but I realized very quickly that numbers in the blogging world? They really really don’t define you if you aren’t doing it full-time, and I’m not, so I’ve stopped worrying about them.

    Cheers to this. x

    MAY | http://WWW.THEMAYDEN.COM

  • Liza Tait-Bailey says:

    I used to check my unfollows until I realised it was something I had very little control over, now for my peace of mind I’ve given up completely. I agree with everything you’ve said in here, not checking is the better way to go!

  • Amy Eleanor says:

    This was a really interesting post. The problem with numbers is that it’s so easy to only perceive your worth by them, it’s right there that you’re only interesting to so many people, even though it’s not a judgement on you or whatever. I don’t really check my unfollows, but I am aware that the numbers change so much (ridiculously so) from day to day.

    http://www.ameldi.com

  • Cuteinstgram says:

    I can’t stress enough how much this post is so true and on point. Unfollowers will always be haters behind the screen, they shouldn’t affect us.
    Loved this post.

    JULIE || cuteiinstgram.blogspot.com

  • Yige says:

    I can get a bit obsessed with numbers too, like sometimes when someone unfollows me on bloglovin I’m like ‘whyyyyyy what have i done wrong please come back and love me’ but like you said, blogging is so much more than just the numbers, at the end of the day you should be focussing on creating good content and connecting with others.

    YIGE a blog

  • Martha Jane says:

    This is such an interesting post. I mean, I don’t check my unfollows, but I definitely feel caught up in numbers sometimes. However, I’d really rather somebody just didn’t bother following at all if they intend to unfollow within 24 hours x

    Martha Jane | http://www.marthajanemusic.com

  • Kathy says:

    Everything you said is so true! I used to always constantly check my followers when I first started blogging 3 months ago and I guess then I always though that that was what determined my success or not. By now I have come to realise that if I focus too much on the numbers then I will never be happy because as soon as I get to a mile stone, I’ll want to reach the next. Such a great post 🙂

    Kathy x
    http://www.alongcamekathy.blogspot.co.nz

  • Katy Belle says:

    I love this post. I’m so bad for checking my unfollows and getting sad about it, and there really is no need. Worrying about it is a total waste of time – this post couldn’t be more spot on!

    Katy / Katy Belle

  • Katie Louise says:

    You’re totally right. I do check my unfollowers occasionally, but I wouldn’t say I’m bogged down because of it. And it is sad to see someone unfollow, but I’m not one of those who will immediately unfollow back – unless I followed out of courtesy and it’s a brand or something aha.

  • Miu says:

    Of course it is not so nice when someone unfollows me, but I prefer having less followers who actually care about my blog and leave some comments and engage with me. It’s the same few people who are popping up in the comments section and I cherish those so much, the others who click ‘follow’ and never come back – those I cherish not so much. Because the pure number is not giving me much. I want re- and interaction.

  • Beth Bayes says:

    I definitely do check my follows/unfollows on Twitter and Instagram at least once a day. It wasn’t until reading this post that I realised how miserable it makes me when I see the people who unfollowed (especially when it’s people I knew from school, those bitches!) Thanks for writing this! I’m going to try and stop letting myself worry about it too much!

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