[left][/left] [right][dropcap]H[/dropcap]ere’s the thing: I’m a worrier. Not to be confused with warrior, although that would be badass. Nope, I just worry. No cool Mulan stuff for me. I’m more of a sit in bed and worry about all the things I’m avoiding by sitting in bed kinda gal. If China were in trouble I definitely would not be able to do anything about it. I’m sorry.
But seriously, I worry a lot. So much so that I am the least fun person to go out drinking with because even when buzzed I’m checking that my keys are in my pocket and that everything is okay, constantly. I’m cool with it.
Part of the worrying thing may have something to do with my generalised anxiety. That would make a lot of sense.
Actually though, I think a lot of it is just because that’s who I am. I’m sensible. I always have been and always will be. I am a Ravenclaw to my bones and I’m totally okay with that. I’ve embraced who I am. Worriers of the world, unite!![/right]
SO WHAT’S BOTHERING ME RIGHT NOW?
Shall I write a list?
1. I’m never going to own a house or flat or cupboard or anything. Ever.
I’m 23 and the economy is the economy and I’ve got a 2.1 in Theology from one of the best universities in the country and will soon have a masters in Theology from that same university and none of that is worth anything because the average deposit in London is like £85k and basically what’s the point in even trying to save for something worth that much money. Y’know? So yeah, that’s worrying me right now, and forever.
2. Is doing an MA even worth it?
This one isn’t really worrying me that much because realistically it makes no difference either way (see above). Still, sometimes I wonder if I should, oh I don’t know, get a job or something. Education is fun though. Idk.
3. Why does my hair look so stupid when I try to curl it?
Like, it’s a lob like everyone else’s. What’s the deal? I’ll get over it.
4. I will need to get a job at some point but have no idea what I want to do, still.
Do I want to be a lawyer like half of my friends? I don’t think so. Do I want to work in marketing? I don’t know. Do I want to never ever get a job? Yes. That would make life easier. Would it actually make my life easier? No. What would make my life easier? A job and some money. What job would you like to do? I have no idea. You get the idea. Round and round and round.
5. I can never find shoes that don’t rip my feet apart.
My feet are covered in scabs and scars and blisters and callouses and are genuinely disgusting to behold. This is because I have very small, very wide, and very tall feet. The dream team. Something that genuinely keeps me awake at night is the idea that I may be in pain forever. Like, I may never find a selection of shoes that I can wear constantly and happily. Even ugg boots have been known to make my bleed through a good pair of socks. I’m serious.
6. The humid weather lately has made me really sweaty and what if being sweaty is my life now, forever?
Black clothes forever, am I right? x0