Autumn/winter seems a pretty apt time to talk about change, right? I mean, I’m already a walking cliché so why not?
I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. I’ve moved to a new city, subconsciously changed the way I dress and eat, and even slowly changed languages a little. I’m also wary that when I go back to uni. next October it will be a completely different place, with all new people and things and very few of the friends I have spent the last two years with.
Change is pretty scary.
When I first moved to France, everything was different. Every. Little. Thing. Besides the obvious language stuff, even the supermarkets and food and lifestyle completely flummoxed me. I was incredibly isolated and lonely and hilariously out of my depth. Needless to say, I had a pretty shit first few weeks.
So why then am I advocating change? My life was so comfy before and I had such a wonderful Durham routine sorted!
Well, I’m going home tomorrow.
Yeah, its only for a week but it’s still home. I’m going to London and Sussex and Yorkshire and Durham and I’m so damn excited, you have no idea! I also feel a little bit weird about it. I’m terrified that come Saturday I’ll have to be dragged kicking and screaming onto my plane from Newcastle. It’s a very real possibility.
I also feel strange because, after even weeks, Paris is starting to feel like home. So much so that the next week has started to feel more like a holiday than a homecoming. I think that’s pretty cool. Yeah, Paris still isn’t great, but it’s becoming mine.
This means that I’m slowly starting to embrace the change.
Change has really opened my eyes to some really cool things, and it definitely wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t truly opened myself up to it. When I moved here I promised myself that I wouldn’t faff about making my new home feel like England, but that I’d make France feel like home. I also told myself very early on, before I moved, that it would be shit, and prepared myself for the absolute worst.
And everything has got spectacularly better.
My French HAS improved a lot. My blog is absolutely on fire and I’ve never been so happy with it. I know I keep changing it up but I’ve finally discovered that less really is more and I couldn’t be happier. My relationship with my parents has improved no end, and my friendships back home are all the better for that ‘grass is greener’ vibe. I’m excited to do and see the things that I had grown so used to at home and I actually think that’s really cool.
I’ve changed because of change. I’m a lot more patient, as I’ve had to be more patient with myself. I’m more confident and happier in my own skin. I have bad days like everyone else and I have days better than any I’ve ever had. I am incredibly content with life and myself at the moment.
The slow pace of French life has slowed me down and allowed me to really take a look at myself. As someone always on the go, unable to relax, I’ve really come to terms with the things that do take time.
Change really is ‘as good as a rest’ because I have discovered what rest really means and am happier and more fulfilled for it.
I think that’s pretty cool.